Thursday 21 November 2013

Mental case...

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.. ."You all have obsessions ,"he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said,"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."He turned to the second Mom, Ann:"Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."He turns to the third Mom, Joyce:"Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers."Come on, Dick, we' re leaving!"

Police catch thief.....

A wife suspected her husband was sleeping with their maid, so she laid a trap. She sent the maid to the village for weekend and didn't tell her husband. That night they went tobed. The husband woke up and gave his old story. "Excuse me dear,i want to watch Tv in the parlor", he went tothe parlor first. Shortly, wife snicked into the maid's room, stripped and laid on the bed light off. She heard him come in silently and wasted no time with words and started making luv with her since she was Unclad. When he finished, the wife said to him, "God has exposed you, you didn't expect me on this bed, did you"? She then switched on the light."No Madam!!!" said the gate man, I'msorry I didn't know you were the one

Ko should win Sportswoman of the Year - Williams

Leading Kiwi golf caddy Steve Williams has one name in mind as to who should win the Sportswoman of the Year at the Halberg awards. The New Zealander is in Melbourne to carry the clubs for world number two Australian Adam Scott in this week's World Cup of Golf. Williams retaliated from a suggestion of him receiving an award to clearly lay down who he thinks should receive a gong. "I have no idea about that, but if Lydia Ko didn't get the Halberg award this year then it's rigged." Michael Hendry and Tim Wilkinson team up for New Zealand at the tournament which begins at Royal Melbourne tomorrow.

Joke of the day


An Igbo man mistakenly sent 2million Naira to a wrong phone number via Mobile Money. He realised that before the person withdraws the whole money,he had to think of what to do to get his money back. To the person's phone number,he immediately sent a text: "Hello Dark and Worthy Initiate, I hope you are okay. I believe you’ve received the money I sent you for the initiation ceremony into Eternal Mystical Order Of Glorious Satanic Order in the Ogboni Fraternity scheduled to occur at 12midnight tomorrow. That money is only for transport. I will send you more for pocket money and there are riches awaiting you. 2 weeks after the initiation, the family member closest to you will die under mysterious circumstances and this death will unlock your ticket to wealth, ability to fly at night and change into all kinds of animals to deliver your  various assignments. Remember to carry a syringe and needle meant to draw your blood every 20 minutes. Please don't be late because the Viceroy of Satan himself will be present to officiate the ceremony. Thanks in advance. But in case you are not ready to join, please send back the money or you will die in the next24hrs". 3 Minutes later. Igbo man gets a Mobile Money message – You have received 2million Naira for your mobile money account.

Governor Rotimi Amaechi killing skelewu...lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A44h06_EFNo Watch Port Harcourt first Governor dancing to one of Davido's finest songs..... skelewu. He sure knows how to boogie... lol...

US Military Training Terrorists in Libya

The U.S. Military will reportedly begin training Senator John McCain’s “heroes” in Libya despite knowing that terrorists will likely be on the receiving end of such training. The Libyans will be the beneficiaries of both conventional and Special Ops training. The Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff have reportedly been apprised and are ok with it.
The Washington Free Beacon’s Bill Gertz quotes Admiral William McRaven of U.S. Special Ops Command as saying the following during a recent panel discussion:
“We are going to have to assume some risks,” McRaven said. “Right now we have the authorities to do that training, and I think as a country we have to say there is probably some risk that some of the people we will be training with do not have the most clean records, but at the end of the day it is the best solution we can find to train them to deal with their own problems.” {emphasis ours}
Training terrorists is the best solution?
It was learned this past July and further confirmed last week that the attackers in Benghazi who killed four Americans were highly organized, coordinated, and well trained. In fact, a man suspected of possibly leading the attack – Tarek Taha Abu Al-Azm – received military training in the U.S. according to multiple Arabic sources.
Al-Azm: Benghazi suspect trained by U.S. Military.
Al-Azm: Benghazi suspect trained by U.S. Military.
Evidence also suggests that Al-Azm was the real leader of the Jamal Network, named after its founder Muhammad Jamal Abdo Al-Kashif. Both Al-Azm and Al-Kashif are currently sitting in Egyptian jails as best we can determine.
Last month, the U.N. Security Council named Al-Kashif and the Jamal Network as suspects in the Benghazi attack. The U.S. State Department went so far as to identify the group and its leaders as terrorists. These designations necessarily implicate Al-Azm, about whom very little is written.
As Gertz points out in his report, if the U.S. is training terrorists in Libya, there’s a possibility they’ll be going to fight elsewhere:
Intelligence reports from earlier this year said some of the Islamists are engaged in training jihadists fighters who are then dispatched to Syria to join Islamist rebels there fighting the regime of Syrian President Bashir Assad.
The four-star admiral said the risks have been explained to senior leaders, including Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Martin Dempsey, and the regional combatant commanders. {emphasis ours}
In addition to the Benghazi attackers being well organized, they also knew intricate details about the compound. Much of this very well may be attributable to the State Department’s reliance on the February 17 Martyrs Brigade (F17) to provide security. That group flies the al-Qaeda flag on its Facebook page. There is also a significant cross-pollination of leadership between F17 and Ansar Al-Sharia.
Speaking of Ansar Al-Sharia, Gertz writes:
The group, Ansar al Sharia, continues to operate openly, despite promises by President Barack Obama to bring those who carried out the Sept. 11, 2012 attacks to justice.
Additionally, Ansar al Sharia has grown more belligerent in recent months, apparently abandoning propaganda efforts to rebrand itself as a nonviolent militia.
More than a year after the Benghazi attacks, no one has yet been brought to justice for those attacks, the groups who carried them out are still operating, one of the lead suspects in the attacks was an Egyptian officer who was trained by the U.S. Military (al-Azm), and our Military is being directed to train more of them in conventional and special ops.
Oh, and our Secretary of Defense and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff are signing off on it all.

Yobo's promising future in the 2014 world cup


Yobo has been overlooked by the Nigerian coach Stephen Keshi since the 2013 Africa Cup of Nations in February. But Keshi has now revealed that he plans to ensure Yobo gets his
record century of caps before the World Cup in Brazil and if he again proves his worth in those friendlies, he could still make it to Brazil 2014.
”Yobo is very much alive in this team than any other player. Yobo and I spoke before the game (vs Ethiopia) and our ambition is to make sure that he gets that 100th cap and by God’s grace he will get it,” Keshi said.
”Now the thing is will he be willing to come back? But we have been talking and he has said no problems.
So, why not, if he is here he would have his hundredth cap and if he is in shape, why not the World Cup?”
Yobo has featured at the 2002 and 2010 World Cups.
He lost his first-team in the Eagles to youngster Kenneth Omeruo at the 2013 AFCON in South Africa and even when Omeruo was sidelined by injury, he was not recalled and instead Warri Wolves defender Azubuike Egwuekwe filled in.
culled from vanguard